Thursday, May 17, 2012

Blog Hop Against Homophobia






I thought for a while about what I wanted to say here. I mean, honestly, what is there to say that someone hasn't said?

I've always known I was queer. My friends always knew. My family always suspected, but, when and where I was a young woman, people weren't queer, not if they wanted to live.

Lesbians didn't live in East Texas. Gay kids were beaten to death in the county fair grounds. Girls that were too friendly with each other had bricks thrown at them in the cafeteria.

So I got married to a decent man and got pregnant. Basically like the women I knew in my home town that were like me. I had amazing, intense, breathless relationships with women that I called friendships, that ended disastrously because I was lying and there's a difference between friends and lovers. I managed, though. I functioned. I churched. I raised my family, went to school, began my career. I did fine, too, until I fell in love.

And the world changed.

And I changed.

I was in my early forties when I came out to my daddy. He still loves me. My mother's response was, "We always knew that."

Hate sucks.

Being afraid to be yourself sucks harder.

Thank heavens I stopped.

BA

PS -- my gift is a donation to the Lambda Legal Fund, $1 for every comment made on this blog up to $250. I know it's a different sort of prize, but I'm a different sort of person. ;-)

 Go visit the other blogs on the Hop. These folks are dear. http://hopagainsthomophobia.blogspot.com.

http://www.batortuga.com

35 comments:

Moma Sue said...

Sweetheart the people that matter will love you no matter what. The people that don't love you don't matter. It comes down to Love is all there is and you have to be who you are. Hugs Angel

Chris said...

And hopefully things keep changing for the better, even if it's happening more slowly than we'd like...

Jason said...

The fact that things keep changing is what we need to get across to so many who feel stuck.

~smooches~

Jen said...

So glad you're being true to yourself. <3 to both of you!

Julia said...

Smooch

Cheryl Dragon said...

everyone has their own path and it's amazing to learn about people's journies. thanks for sharing!

Kristi B. said...

Anyone that truly knew you knew who you were/are. You are loved for who you are and I am so happy that you are finally living your dream and loving who you are meant to. Life should be about love, happiness and joy. Live yours to the fullest :)

Katherine Halle said...

So glad you are true to yourself now. And A+++ parents - good for them :D And hopefully the world will change and the hate will go away. #eternaloptimist

Thanks for sharing your story <3333

Andrea said...

thanks for sharing your story and I think your prize is perfect for this!

kerry said...

thank you for sharing this with us today. I think this is an important cause that needs the spotlight shining on it.

Ladycelt said...

So glad you shared your story...and I agree - the people who love you, really, will love you no matter what.

Louise said...

It's all about love. When the ignorant get that concept equality for all will exist.

Laurie said...

Thank you!

Yvette said...

Thanks you for sharing your story.
Yvette
yratpatrol@aol.com

Tami B said...

Glad you were finally able to be true to yourself.

Michelle said...

I'm glad thet you have become free to be...One of the reasons I am so passionate about kickin’ homophobia’s butt because it was only a few years ago that it became legal to marry my husband. Keep on Lovin'.

Donna said...

Your prize is perfect.

I live in North Carolina where you can marry your first cousin as long as you aren't gay or lesbian.

I enjoyed a little thing I saw today that said the definition of homophobia is insecurity about being heterosexual.

Hugs,
Donna

Mary G said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mary G said...

Thanks for sharing your story. Your parents rock (& so do you).

Jen said...

Thanks for sharing, I'm glad that you finally get to be yourself!

sylvan65 said...

What a great story, thank you BA!

Jackie said...

Thank you for sharing.

B said...

Beautiful! Thank you for sharing your story and participating in the hop!
Bella
www.bellaleonebooks.com

Foretta said...

I showed a bunch of these post to the teens in my family to show them how hurt some "innocent" remarks are to many others. I get so annoyed when my nephew says "you're so gay". ERRRR drove me crazy. I know he didn't mean anything by it but it is so wrong to use that as a saying. I think that these post have helped. Thank you all for sharing with us!
forettarose@yahoo.com

Holly said...

Hope you get all 250 comments. What a great idea!

DarienMoya said...

Thanks for sharing, and will it count if I keep coming back to comment ^_^

L.M. Brown said...

Thank you for sharing your story.

Your prize is a wonderful one and I am happy to support it.

I am doing something similar on my blog by donating $1 for each comment to the It Gets Better project and during my hopping I have seen others doing the same.

Doing something to make a difference is what the blog hop is all about.

SheriV said...

I hope that things keep changing until there is no discrimination left

N.J. Nielsen said...

That was a beautiful post BA thank you for taking part and sharing with us all.

Lisa said...

Thanks for sharing your story. Making a donation as a prize is a great idea!

Emily said...

Thanks for sharing and participating!! I love the donation idea!!

Erica Pike said...

It's the best sort of prize ^.^

So glad you came out eventually and that your parents accepted you :) It's as it should be.

Erica
eripike at gmail dot com

Michelle said...

Love this post so much.

BA Tortuga said...

*hugs y'all* You're made of win!

Retri Butioner said...

Homophobic Cyberstalking story of the Century can be read here http://homophobicdorsetpolice.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/the-pre-meditated-and-manipulated-16th.html